What helps me in my high sensitivity
Attention to your real needs
My first guest blog was about 'survival tips' for High Sensitivity. A number of reactions indicated that it is not yet so easy to follow these tips, as things are not always made easy for you in society. I can well imagine that, but there is a big misconception behind it, which I will try to shed some more light on from my own experience.
If I start to feel and listen more from within to what is right for me, dare to live my needs and individuality, my 'lifestyle' becomes very different. If I look at what is coming at me from outside and always anticipate it, I become enormously overstimulated. Feeling from within and listening carefully to my needs goes against my high sensitivity, namely that I sense very well what is expected of me and am very eager to meet it. I love harmony and putting others at ease. But that is also often at the expense of my own well-being and energy. It is not for nothing that many highly sensitive people become burnout at some point in their lives. It is then necessary to start discovering yourself in a new way and practising, for example, with the survival tips for high sensitivity from my previous blog.
At the beginning of 2014, I started taking myself very seriously for once and resolved to work on looking inwards, scrutinising myself this whole year. What feels right for me right now? What have I assumed and done all because I felt things so well, but what is not really mine? Where am I passing myself by and at what cost?
By taking a period for self-examination and also making new choices, I am going against the maelstrom of what 'society expects of me' and what I wanted to live up to. I am getting to know myself really well only now. Society is me and when I make different choices, I am also shaping a different society. This is a very exciting road and I must tell you that it makes me very happy. But my energy is far from what it can be. For years I have been 'passing' myself by, so recovery also requires patience. And it means e.g. that I have currently put my work (own practice) on a very low burner to have enough rest to actually go inward. This also causes anxiety sometimes, because I do have an income to earn with a family with 3 children. I don't want to be guided by fear and strangely enough, I am learning to trust more and more and things are happening that allow that to happen.
My guiding principles focus on simplicity and peace, attention to what is really important in life and what I recharge from. Paying attention to the little things. Enough attention and time for my children, so also that I don't stay busy in my head with other things when I'm with them. Being outside enough, walking in nature. Clear plans, time to recharge after exertion. Fresh and clean food grooming. Yoga, meditation...
So it requires a NO to what doesn't fit in there and you know it's a big YES to myself! Very much getting used to it, step by step. And maybe my income has gone down, but correspondingly my mood has gone up. And not everyone is clapping along the side avenue, so to speak, wow MARJAN you are listening to your needs more and more, you are exploring much more what suits you, you are not letting society's hurried maelstrom drive you crazy anymore, wowowowow. NO, the confidence and self-assurance grows by doing it and so it also comes from within!
It takes every day Paying attention to your real needs. Practising and experimenting with this is a huge challenge with great rewards. More on that later.
Feel free to ask questions, comments very welcome, :-)
Greetings Marjan
What a recognisable piece thank you for your tips, i am still very much searching and have small children. could you tell me where i can find more info on the dance for kids to become more grounded? i would love to hear it thank you in advance!
Hi Peggy, about that dance, someone wrote that in a comment, above.
But e.g. children's yoga is great for grounding, all sports too, so you can go in all directions with that. You ground yourself when you are moving and working with your body. My 8-year-old son said just this week, now that I participate in King Farmer at school (a game with a tennis ball), I don't think so much any more.
Always welcome for questions. Greetings Marjan
Otherwise, see about that dance website of the MIR method.
Thank you for your response Annelies Wolters.
I know the MIR method, I even took Mireille's class, we discovered when I attended a lecture by her, :0
See possibly also an earlier article KLeine survival guide for HSP via this blog, from me.
Greetings Marjan
I did the MIR method, which helped me tremendously.
Mireille Metes, developed this, it's a mind set .
Meditation has also helped me.
It always goes up and down in life, accepting that this is the way it is, and being allowed to be there as you are.
The same applies to your loved ones, of course.
There is even a "dance" for children, which some teachers use in class. This helps children ground themselves and shield themselves .
My children are already grown, and busy with other things. But I will definitely apply this to my grandchildren, if it may come to that.Good luck with developing yourself.
Very recognisable piece!!! I stopped for a moment to think about the sentence: society that is me and if I make different choices, I am thereby also shaping a different society. I'm going to think about that further ;-)