Melissa's life full of ups and downs due to ADD and medication
For a few years now, Melissa has known she has ADD
Hello,
I saw on the Facebook page that you could tell your own story about ADD, and I thought it would be fun/fun to share it with others.
My father died in 2010. Soon after, I met my boyfriend (through hyves). His father had also died, and we immediately clicked. We dated and since then we have almost never been apart. We went through an intense period. I was severely depressed, and I had lost all sense of life. I ended up at GGZ. Every day things got a little better, and my boyfriend and I were looking at housing for ourselves. A few months later, we were moving, but my therapy continued as usual, but in another province. Training I would pick up again when it started again, but also in another province. In between, I had had several jobs, and everything failed. Education, job, I got deeper and deeper into the pit and felt totally useless.
My practitioner, was a top woman. She gave me some good kicks in the ass, which I needed. But it was no longer of any use to me, my boyfriend and I got into more and more frequent arguments, which ended in violent tantrums for me.
Last year, November 2013, I was diagnosed with ADD, after answering a series of questions, it was all for sure. I have ADD, but what is ADD?..... At home I looked up everything about ADD, and had to let it sink in quietly for myself. Also from my practitioner. The following week, I had a conversation about how I would take things further. I took drastic measures to leave my boyfriend, and move in with my mother and stepfather and resume my education there. As soon as I started my education, I would be put on medication, the well-known ritalin.
It was over with my boyfriend, I was living with my mother and stepfather, I was doing fun things with my stepsister and my education had started, so had my medication. I got the medication methylphenidate. That was no fun, if you ask me. The dose was increased each time and by the end, I could no longer eat and even threw up. I lost a lot of weight and felt tired and weak. I kept this up for a while, but then I felt a bit better, not great yet, but it was okay.
A few months later, my boyfriend and I were in a relationship again. I missed him terribly and he me, we knew for sure we couldn't live without each other. Then things went badly wrong. I had an allergic reaction, but I didn't know that at the time. I woke up terrified, screaming, floating and not feeling well. My mother came running upstairs and calmed me down, but my eyes....My eyes rolled upwards and then I couldn't see anything. I had sent a video to my boyfriend, and it freaked him out, who immediately said YOU ARE BLIND! And my mother also said you look like a blind person. Several times I went to the doctor's office, went to hospital, but it was 'stress' or I was 'acting up'. So sent home each time.
Until one day I burst into tears. I couldn't take it anymore, I was in pain, couldn't see anything and it just didn't feel right and had called the doctor again and again I was fobbed off with 'take rest'. Until my mother angrily called the GP that she wanted to come right now and be examined further. Until I sat at the GP and all sorts of people looked at me and said that girl may for me, because this is not good. Hehe, finally people who did understand.
The GP looked into my eyes, but she couldn't, whereupon she tried a trick. No doctor could look into my eyes except her. She didn't know, but took the time to tell me what it could be. Until she said hey, you take ritalin, right? And then the ball started rolling. I had to stop the medication immediately and was given oxazepam to kick off and calm down. The next day I had to come back, and immediately call my relevant medication doctor.
I had done a week without medication, what the hell, because all hell broke loose at home too, a lot of whining and things were thrown at my head that I totally disagreed with, so what ensued, exactly, a tantrum. I slammed the hearing door, ran upstairs, knocked over everything in my room, slammed myself against the wall....
A lot happened after that, many conversations, arguments, but also a lot of changes in the house. I also got different medication, dexamphetamine. A low dose, and it works enough, I don't want more because I am anxious.
And now... 2014 a new start for me education is going well, living with my boyfriend again and are even looking for a nice and big house to buy together. We have great things ahead of us and we also have great future plans together. After my education, I want to slowly reduce my medication and try to do it on my own. Also because we want a baby in the future and that doesn't go together with ritalin (drugs). And also after my education, I will start my own childcare centre, so my life is looking good now.
I am happy, and I feel good! I'm curious to see what the future will bring me and be even happier!
This was a small part of my story, veeeeeeeery more has happened in my life, but I am still working on that. In the future, I also want to write a book about my life, including tips and advice for people with depression, ADD, eating disorders, etc.
Greetings Melissa
Addition by Melissa on 21 April 2014
I have been taking for a month now LTO3, slowly phased out and completely off ritalin since 2 weeks. It works super for me! I no longer feel so groggy, I sleep well in and through, and everything tastes a lot better to me again. I discussed this with my psychiatrist to which she said okay I have to say it's wrong, but actually I think it's super if it works well for you. Last week I visited my psychiatrist for the last time. Never felt so good about myself before!!! Glad to be off the junk also because my boyfriend and I want a baby in the future. It costs a bit but I'd rather take natural remedies than that rubbish that gave me terrible side effects. Incidentally, my boyfriend doesn't notice any difference that I no longer take ritalin, but is he happy that I don't feel so drowsy? (I talk his ear off)
Greetings Melissa
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Hey Melissa, thanks for your lovely, honest and comprehensive story. You see what fun and kind responses it generates :) Together we are strong and inspire each other! Glad for you that things are going in the right direction with you now. Keep up the good work!
Hi there,
I am lying here reading your story. Scared because I have been diagnosed like everyone else. However... No drugs for me. No way :)
Hope that through yoga, lots of sports and lots of talking, and good coaches, I will get my life in line. It's not easy... But, what is in this life. Right?
I will put my story on there later. Thanks for sharing. At least this website gives me new insights.
Greetings,
Jerryl
Hello,
Same story here.
Just started taking ritalin again.
Right yes, muscles hurt but that is also from years of fighting my ADHD and HSP.
Are you still taking Ritalin now?
I 10 mg and that's it.
grt,
Nadine
Hi,
Two years ago, I was also diagnosed with ADD. Actually all my life, I could not get a grip on the chaos and gloom that comes with it. Depression, anxiety disorder and even borderline disorder were the diagnoses the experts threw at me. Through acquaintances I borrowed a strip of methylphenidate and the fog lifted...Eventually, this drug was the reason to take a closer look at ADD-related symptoms and yes, the psych agreed with me. The leak was above.
Unfortunately, my body did not react very well to this stuff and switched to dexamphetamine with full satisfaction. This is now my doping to make something further out of my life. Bit late at 47 but still....
Hi Melissa,
I was diagnosed with adhd in 2009, when I was already 33. Through self-discipline, I had always managed to suppress it reasonably well. In the sense that I didn't make too much of a mess of it, but I did always do too much, kept doing different courses and training and kept changing employers. That I never felt rest I didn't mind so much, but constantly going over my limits due to my overexertion and just keeping moving from place to place in my working life was killing me. Just before the diagnosis, I really thought I was just 'not right in the head' and was getting more and more desperate from the whole thing.
After being diagnosed, I tried various forms of adhd medication. I reacted terribly violently to everything, from not feeling well to being completely lost. I always suffered from the side effects of medication, but in the medical world this was waved away. Until my practitioner examined my genotype and I turned out to belong to a small % of the white world population who metabolise at a delayed rate. This has all kinds of consequences for the breakdown of medication e.g. It has meant, among other things, that I am better off not taking certain forms of medication and others in infant doses. It's always a matter of trial and error and seeing what it does.
Now I only take half a 5 mg tablet of dexamphetamine twice a day and that's fine, I shouldn't take more than 1.5 pd either. Funny of course, because normally one takes more on average.
It helps me a lot, I am not a direct advocate of medication, but if the burden of a condition becomes too great, and the medication helps, then I will stop saying don't do as many in society react to adhd medication.
It's everyone's personal choice, of course, but thanks to medication I am almost finishing my psychology studies now and have been with the same employer for almost 3.5 years now. Even though I certainly don't always like it there (normally I would have left 300x :)).
I didn't use it during my pregnancy either, which I found terrible at the time, I would like to have another baby and will have to stop again then. I'm considering looking into LTO3, if it's allowed during pregnancy and if it obviously doesn't pose any risks, I might want to try that to still be able to function 'through'.
You too, good luck with everything and all the best! Thanks for your candid story.
Rebecca
hi rebecca,
I have a certain liver enzyme myself. Do not respond well to any medication. I wonder what form you have. Would love to hear from you
A beautiful story Mellissa very recognisable.
I myself am not having an easy time right now, and neither are my wife and children. I also suffer from depression now and that doesn't make you well.
One day is better than the next. Then it's laughing again then crying about nothing really. You don't feel like anything , the love of my life has to put up with me every time.I also want things to get better for me and just be able to enjoy the normal things of life again.
i have to go back to psychological help in February and need it now more than ever. But I'm really trying to stay positive.
Hi Melissa!
I am a bit older (46) and I was diagnosed with ADD last year. When the doctor said to me, that it would be really weird if I didn't have ADHD, because of all the characteristics, I thought for a moment that he was crazy... I am very calm and definitely not that bouncy ball that I imagined with ADHD. Then he told me I had the "Non-Hyper" variant, ADD. When I went to look up what that was, I came across a list of about 22 characteristics. 20 matched me exactly and when I let my wife read it, she thought it was written for me!
Anyway, I started (after I was tested and had obvious ADD) with Concerta. This is a long-acting version of Ritalin, so you don't have to take those pills as often and therefore don't forget to take them as quickly. Convenient, but I also got all kinds of nasty side effects. All my organs started to ache and I was incapable of doing anything. At one point, I thought I would have 14 days to live at most, from the pain and rotten feeling in my body! This lasted for 3 months.
When everything was functioning somewhat again, I did start Concerta again, on a low dose (also every other day at first) and we built it up very slowly. Fortunately, this went well and now I actually have a significantly better life! I can concentrate better, I am more assertive (which means I can stand up for myself better anyway) and I have much more energy to be active.
I was diagnosed with ADD after 15 years of severe depression. The ADD perpetuated that depression and destroyed many years of my life. Even within my relationship, it led to problems. Due to a traumatic childhood (always arguing parents), I was allergic to arguments and that led to ... conflict-avoiding behaviour (which, from the looks of it, you fortunately don't suffer from). So now I am more assertive and that leads to ... yes, new conflict situations, hard confrontations and maybe even a break-up. So do always try to stay yourself and stand up for yourself!!! And don't underestimate it, because you are vulnerable but also strong.
So always look for your own strength and that medication can only help you, not make you.
Good luck and very good luck!
Response to Melissa.
First of all, top that you have it on track now.
And it remains a lifelong lesson.
We have an adhd / add family.
The two boys with adhd stopped after years of ritalin use with success because let me be clear it often goes well with ritalin too! Not everyone reacts allergically etc.
But for Melissa they have stopped and are doing well. It takes a lot of self-discipline and every day they are still learning.
I wish you the best of luck. Greetings Marja
Glad you are making your story public! I have a daughter with add, takes concerta and loose methyl and has had massive anxiety. We too want to stop taking concerta and methylphenidate and switch to Stratera. Next month we are going to try it. When you see all the things she has to take to get to sleep at all, melatonin, prometazine and homeopathic pellets for anxiety, lamp on and in our bedroom, and she 11 years old. Not a healthy situation. Maat we keep courage and hope that everything will work out with other medication. Thank you for your story and good luck.
If you ever do want to take something you better go for LTO3 this is n natural alternative to ritalin and doesn't have all those nasty side effects. It also works better. Just Google it.
Hi Henriette,
I agree, I am now using LTO3 again myself. I will never take chemical medication like Ritalin and Concerta again. I had too many side effects that made me feel worse than before. But everyone makes their own choice in the end. LTO3 gives me more peace of mind. In particular, it helps me process street stimuli better and allows me to concentrate better at work. The number of reactions from people who take lto3 and benefit from it continues to rise. Unbelievable that a natural remedy can work so well for people with ADD and ADHD. For those interested, I have here is a page dedicated entirely to lto3.