Own fault or victim of ADD?
My life journey with ADD, alcoholism and debt
Actually, I just made a mess of it for the first 45 years of my life. Lots of mountains and valleys. From one success to the next low. Alcoholism and hefty debts. Partly due to a piece of soured youth. But in hindsight, that childhood and the rest of my life was also laced with all the characteristics of ADD. Something I only got the 'official' confirmation for a few years back.
Yet I continue to argue that I did make a mess of it myself. And in fact, I do this out of self-protection. Indeed, the moment I start throwing the entire 'blame' on ADD, there is a danger that I lose sight of the measures required. The term 'blame' is quickly followed by a tendency to feel like a victim.
By now I know that I simply have to work with a good diary and to-do lists. That I should avoid being busy with too many things at once. That regularity is good for me. That alcohol - but also drugs - have extra risks for me. That I shouldn't drink coffee in the evening and should be careful with evening snacking. And furthermore, Ritalin can support me when I really get too busy (at the moment I am unemployed for a while and can manage just fine without it).
I think it is good to keep facing the fact that I could have taken these perfectly logical measures years earlier and avoided a lot of misery. In that case, Ritalin could ultimately have only taken the last sharp edges off.
As far as I am concerned, it is important to keep facing that own responsibility though. This remains the best way to avoid going back to the days when you knew nothing about it.
Knowing you have ADD also means you have no more excuses.
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As a mother myself, naturopathic therapist and child interpreter, see several factors reflected. The addiction drive is quite strong. The trick is to let yourself or your child live a passion. Where is your talent, what makes you happy? Try to create this as much as possible. Often there is also a mirror to parents or previous generations. I regularly come across this in translations from my work as a child interpreter and family constellator. The products I am currently getting good results with are Cere-Balance, Neuronyl and Andohadin. It is useful to test which one suits you best. Go now LTO3 order to see if that is a good addition. You are never guilty of ADD or ADHD yourself but you do have a choice in how you deal with it.
This sounds very familiar.
I have been diagnosed with ADD for a few months now. I thought (think) it was SO bad. I just found myself looking for a legitimate excuse for my behaviour. But I didn't come up with it myself, my therapist came up with the idea of sorting it out. And well the diagnosis came. I am still trying to 'get out of it' and still don't want to accept it. To me it still feels like not true and a lie and well an excuse. I now also have methylphenidate to use at work and when I go to festivals. I do notice a difference when I don't use them, but I really want to go back to being without them. It used to be possible, so it should be possible again! ( but then got a lot of structure from outside, school, home, study... And that's not there anymore)
I am 27 now. When I was 6, they told me at school that I was easily distracted and couldn't keep up with the rest anymore. Became depressed 8 years ago. Also from losing people (death)
Almost certainly know myself that I have ADD but my depression makes it seemingly difficult to do anything about it.
Since then, I lost everything and everyone. One by one they dropped me. Only have my boyfriend left, nothing more. Doubt myself if it's me. Don't really enjoy life any more, sitting in sackcloth and ashes every day. Mandy
Dear Mandy,
I am obviously not a professional, so I can only give my personal thoughts.
In my experience, you have to tackle issues one at a time and set clear priorities for them. I myself was literally an alcoholic, unemployed, homeless and in solid debt over 7 years back. I then followed the order of addiction, financial problems, housing and work. Actually in order of severity and the extent to which it disrupted my life.
In retrospect, ADD was quite hidden in all those things as part of the causes, but I only picked up the road to diagnosing and treating that piece of ADD afterwards. Also because only then could I approach it soberly and draw conclusions.
Think of it as someone with a broken leg and an ingrown toenail. It both needs to be treated, but you don't wait to splint until that nail heals.
Greetings, Thako
Very recognisable story! Broadly speaking, I can put my story next to it like this. I think it's good to realise the impact the add has had on your life, because it can explain some things for yourself. You just always remain responsible for your own choices. It can help you in "the now" and the choices you have to make in the future!
I don't know about those drugs yet! Get the feeling it's best to walk with the herd! I do believe in all the gadgets but I think the whole pharmaceutical industry is pretty doleful by giving so little information about the long-term medicines! And the fact that people take that for granted because it supposedly seems to work is just ignorance! I myself have also been in mainstream health care for years and am starting my own research today! I can use all the help I can get from people who support my vision, but discussions about medication are of no use to me! I stopped medication very recently and feel fine with it! Complaints like impulsivity have even decreased and I can control myself reasonably well with drink and drugs! So for me the real battle starts tomorrow! Will have to make a plan because in my head it is a mess but have full confidence in my own abilities! !! Wish me luck too.....
As such, I am not in favour of medication. As long as I can do without it, I certainly will. But what if practice just shows that you can't manage without it and keep failing time and again? Then it is always worth at least trying.
Circumstances are and remain very decisive. For instance, I am single. A woman who would keep up with me regularly would save me a lot of misery. Now I really don't 'go looking' with that intention, However, it does indicate that I may make different choices under different circumstances.
And what if you have a 'simple' profession, can let your thoughts flow all day, and still function nicely? Maybe then how not to change anything at all.
Hi moon,
I share the same opinion as you on medication, did start for my son with lto3 purely to give his head some rest maybe something for you too????
And do be careful with booze and drugs because let's face it that, like drugs, is not good for you.
Good luck
Gr hanneke
I do think it is good to make a distinction between my experiences and those of children. You can hardly blame a child of 12 for occasionally shifting blame or taking advantage of something. That's what the child is for.
My son was diagnosed with ADD last summer.
He jokingly uses it at school for everything that happens, That's because of my ADD and a big smile to go with it. Fortunately, he now knows very well what he can do about it and if it really bothers him he can seriously talk to school about it. But it's still fun to blame the ADD for your puncture and if you're lucky they kick in too.
By the way, he uses LTO3 and says it gives him a lot of peace in his head and better concentration. I also notice a clear difference when he doesn't take it.
Hi Mirjam how many pills of lto3 do you use a day for your son?
Handsome, that bit of self-reflection. My 12-year-old son always blames everyone and sometimes his adhd.
And idd, if he has not had his medicanet and I speak to him about something he rebuilds our house.
If he did have medication, he can better relate and control himself. I hope he may later have the same self-reflection as the writing of this piece.