ADD and ADHD is your strength but troublesome in society
From the moment a child starts school, the natural gift they have been given is already being tinkered with. A power that gives you a stronger connection to the energy of life. With the ADD/ADHD brain you sense things, you have a good intuition, you know things purely because you sense it, you are wise. As an ADD'er/ADHD'er you are not made to reason everything from the mind but you have a lot of knowledge already available purely because you make a connection with the subconscious that is incomprehensible to others. They are also called new age children.
For much of the population, it is no problem to slowly to be programmed by what everything and everyone tells you in your life. They are made with a brain which is easily programmed with all the beliefs of our system. Many things are taken for truth because all these people with the "normal brain" live from their minds.
Therefore, when you live only with the mind, you are also not open to what your feelings, your soul and your instinct told you. This is very good for a society to develop. After all, if everyone had the 'ADD/ADHD brain', it would be very difficult to develop a working system. This would become a chaotic place. But it is also important that a small part of the population does have this power.
The current school system and ADD / ADHD
So the problem is that we are told from childhood how everything works, how everything should be, how it fits together. As an ADD/ADHD person, this is not understandable. We don't need to be told because we have this deeper connection with the energy of life. Because of this, we sense that things are different as told by people living from the "normal brain". We know things are different from what we are told. However, we have to fit into that picture at all costs like the rest of the class. We have to follow all instructions exactly as we are told. But we fail to do so because we simply know better and are not meant to evolve that way.
This ensures deep frustrations which are thus developed from childhood. So it is also not surprising to consider that people with the so-called ADD or ADHD brain in many cases, eventually become entangled and develop all kinds of psychological symptoms. So ADD and ADHD can also easily develop into a disorder, if we continue to treat children with theta brain in this way. Thus, they also lose their beautiful powers they carry with them.
Have you never noticed how calm ADDs and ADHDs become when they enter an environment that does cater to them?
Day in and day out, as an AD(H)D sufferer, you have to fit into the picture, a picture our brain is simply not meant for.
An ADD and ADHD person does not need a blind guide stick
The way children with the ADD and ADHD brain can be compared to giving someone who can see a guide stick for the blind.
Day in and day out, we have to close our eyes to the deep connection to our strength. Like others, on the other hand, we do not need a stick to walk. We can see. Unfortunately, our behaviour is seen as annoying and tiresome, this while we are just frustrated and don't understand that everyone needs a blind cane. We are placed in a world in which we cannot develop. Indeed, day by day, it becomes a struggle for survival. Read the inspiring story of the eagle What that did to him.
It's like putting an eagle in a henhouse. That eagle starts doubting itself more and more. Why can't I concentrate on what I am being told to do. The chickens don't seem to have a problem with it. Those just do as they are told. Those can easily be programmed. The eagle starts doubting himself more and more, slowly closing his eyes to his wonderful gift. He becomes increasingly insecure, stressed and depressed.
Provided we get medication, which closes our eyes to our power, we will not need this blind guide stick. We feel how things work, we know there is another way. We don't need to be told everything as it works for others. Then it can be said that ADDs and ADHDs have poor concentration but you are also demanding something from them that they are just not made for.
Their soul, feeling, intuition, instinct is so much more highly developed because their theta brain is continuously connected to this flowing powerful energy source. We know many things better, are stubborn, don't listen, are easily bored etc. So logical, our brain craves adventure, interesting stuff, thrills. You don't let an eagle become a battery cage after all.
A blind world
For an ADD and ADHD person, it is like being born into a blind world. The normal brain needs a blind guide stick for everything. So for them, this system is brilliant. From childhood, they are handed a blind guide stick. At school, they are slowly programmed and thus learn a lot of knowledge which they store in the brain. Thank goodness it works that way for them otherwise they wouldn't make it. They don't have the deeper connection with their soul that tells them how things work. They need this system.
In my opinion, this is not the reason why ADDs and ADHDs are on this planet. We are not blind, we don't need this blind guide stick. You may now understand how hugely frustrating it has been for us. When we were about 5 years old, we were pushed day in and day out to close our eyes and our force to suppress. We had to take control of our blind stick at all costs and we had to turn off our intuition and feelings. Why? Simply because that is not understood by all these ignorant people. Not that we are better, it is very important to have these people in society too but that there are other people too should be recognised.
Did you know that to this day, ADD and ADHD has not been proven to be a disorder. Frequent ADHD and ADD research has never been able to confirm dot! It only looks at the other functioning of the brain, the other brain activity and dopamine processing. Which is indeed demonstrable mat what does that actually say? Nothing at all.
The way labels like ADD and ADHD are currently handled and viewed is, in my opinion, totally wrong and out of control. There should be a different system that singles out children with special brains. These children should be schooled in an environment that is familiar to them. An environment they understand, when you do this from an early age you will see what tremendously brilliant children you can develop. They can become brilliant people who are truly capable of creating a better world. These people should be given the chance to develop their strengths instead of being convinced that they have a disorder like the eagle in the example already mentioned.
Unfortunately, for the time being, we are being pushed to fit into the picture with all its frustrations and consequences. Our brains need to wake up so that our power is switched off, if need be with medication. Then we can close our eyes to the power and join in with the rest. So that medication may help but the question is whether that is what we are for? It can possibly be a step to climb out of a valley but using this for the rest of your life? Then we are aligned with the rest and can join in. Is that what an ADD or ADHD person was brought to earth for? Think for a moment of all the celebrities with ADHD / ADD. Many of them do not even use medication. Why? Because they have found their calling. If you find something you can pour your full creativity and passion into, then your ADD / ADHD will start expressing itself as a gift and only the positive sides will be highlighted.
If you think long enough that there is something wrong with you you will automatically start believing that you really need that medication. When you do develop yourself as an ADD or ADHD sufferer, you will find that you really don't need medication. Go and play sports more often and do what you find interesting. A simple job is simply not for you, your soul is crying out for more!
When you find your calling, people will begin to see your gift and energy as a tremendous source of inspiration. The roles will then finally be reversed!
But sometimes it can be supportive to (temporarily) take remedies that ensure you don't get bogged down by all the things you have to do in life. This allows you to keep a better overview of life and you will possibly be happier because you don't always have to be on your toes. My preference then is not pharmaceutical drugs. Certainly not because it has been shown that there is a very good alternative. Want to know more about natural support as an alternative to ritalin. Then read more about LTO3
My own school period with ADD
At school, I always thought I was different. I couldn't listen to the teacher, didn't find it all interesting, I was drawing, looking for action, looking outside etc. Anything that could stimulate my brain even a little bit, I was looking for that. I made a mess of it, enjoyed being sent out of class more than stupidly listening to that brain ge programming. I really didn't understand anything about school, what was I doing there, everyone seems to listen to that lame bullshit so easily.
Like the eagle, I thought, "is this it now? Is this now what I am on this earth for, so boring, no excitement? I didn't understand anything at all. People seemed to have no deeper connection with their souls. They were continuously so awake which made them so open to being programmed. I felt so different, my intuition/instincts were constantly in connection with my brain.
In primary school, I still held up reasonably well. I got away with my behaviour. Fortunately, I could let off steam there and it was quite fun. Especially in the breaks, I could find my feet. I climbed on the roof of the school, in trees etc. With friends in the street, we were also outside every day and had the greatest fun. That time was fantastic!
In high school, however, I had to give in. It was no longer possible to continue like this. Again, I was more concerned with getting expelled. I was looking for action, I was going crazy in class. This can't be true people, can it? Sitting in a chair for hour after hour listening to this nonsense, where did I end up? Are you all sometimes a bunch of computers who don't think for yourselves? Every time something was explained, I didn't know what was expected of me. Always I was again the one who had not listened. Like the eagle, I looked for the thrills, for the adventure but I got no responses back from others. I became more and more lonely and depressed. Is this now what life has to offer?
Yet somewhere deep inside me, I always managed to retain the feeling that I was not crazy. After all, I had so many talents and could do so much, it just couldn't be that there was something wrong with me. My brain wasn't made for all that nonsense. All that nonsense talk that is taken as convincing truth by the "normal brain" and stored directly in a lobe somewhere in the brain. That way of acquiring knowledge does not involve feeling/instinct or intuition. The teacher tells us so, so it is so. I have always had my own view on everything. Very stubborn perhaps as I was often told, but in my opinion a very good trait.
Intelligence, in my opinion, comes not only from the mind of your brain but also from your soul. The soul drives the body and brain. That way how you sense things and the development of your intuition, that is in my opinion a much greater intelligence than just blindly storing everything somewhere in the brain and then doing nothing with that knowledge. I call it polluting the brain.
When you have strongly developed feelings, you can achieve so much. You just know how to do things, you feel it and you can often do things right away provided people don't start telling you how to do it, because then we don't succeed.
Earlier, I described that I always felt different, as if I had this deeper awareness that made me perceive differently for my case. I couldn't understand why others didn't have this. Every time, I was forced to do things the way I was told to do them. I didn't understand, kept doing things wrong and it all took 10 times as long for me to master something. That came across as pretty stupid. However, it turned out time and again that when I didn't follow instructions, but did things exactly as I felt they should be done, I was 10 times faster than others. I mastered things immediately. Had trouble with few things, I understood everything immediately, got everything right away and was often the best at many things. At that point, there were no limits for me. As if I already possess all the knowledge to be able to do something. I just feel it, I see it in front of me and then I execute it. That's that power of the theta or ADD / ADHD brain. Quite logical that we are so easily bored. We are eagles, hosted by programmed chickens (Seen as a metaphor!);(with all due respect, by the way, to all the people who don't have the thetabrain possess; This predominant group of the population is also very important, also have very nice traits, qualities and talents) Make no mistake about that.
The consequences for the ADD and ADHD person
Many characteristics of ADD and ADHD are purely deep frustrations that have crept into the brain as patterns. Patterns that are then repeated day in and day out so you don't have to relearn everything every day. Unfortunately, this applies to both helpful and unhelpful patterns. In ADDs and ADHDs, therefore, brain secondary complaints and disorders ingrained of which most have no knowledge at all. They have become convinced of their disorder with all its consequences. The symptoms only get worse especially if you also put your focus on it every day. This has become an unconscious unhelpful pattern that the brain executes 24/7. Something you can therefore take control of yourself again by shifting your focus and creating new positive neurology. You can read about this in more detail on the page about neuroplasticity.
Remember that what you give energy to is getting bigger. It is very simple, focus on positive things and they will slowly start getting bigger in your life!
From an early age, we run the risk of developing our brains unhelpfully, with all the consequences that entails. Nor is it so crazy to consider that you hear so many people with ADD and ADHD say they work below their level, that sooner or later they become depressed or develop burnout. They are so smart, understand so much, have so many talents, such a highly developed emotional life, such strong intuition, are creative, have humour, etc.
Unfortunately, in many cases, they cannot find their bearings anywhere. Wherever you are, everywhere your ADD / ADHD brain is expected to be awake and functioning in the beta state so that it is open to be easily programmed with a programme that is incomprehensible to us.
Exactly how I am in it.
Am now 34 and not making any progress in life.
So much is expected of you in life and at work to do it a certain way.
I want to take care of me family but I can't manage to earn some more money somewhere.
Or also not to start something for myself because there is so much involved.
I am smart. I am creative.
But it has been so pounded into me by society that I am lazy that I just don't get on.
Great society we have.
Hello
My son is 16 ? an eternal dreamer never liked working for school.
Comes across as lazy and unmotivated.
In the 3rd year of secondary school, he started creating fear of failure and blackouts in exams.
Then we had him tested in Year 4 and it showed ADD.
In itself a reassurance for me because now we knew . but we are equally far now.
The school system is not working for my son.
He cannot study does not want to study and has lost all courage.
But somewhere he does want much later . he'll get there he says .
what should we do . intellect he has more than enough, has made it to the 5th tso where he is now but still doesn't know how to study .. teachers don't understand him.
That is why I am surprised by this article and, on the other hand, a clarification.
Any tips are welcome ?
Grz An
Mum of a 16-year-old cool guy who sometimes loses it all.
Hi Jochem,
Thanks for your response. I also came across a lot about omega 3 and a link to ADD (and dyslexia). Are you familiar with that?
I also notice with our son that he has a lot of trouble with 'authority'. When he 'has' to do something from us or when we say 'no' to something. Is that also something that comes with ADD?
Greetings,
Inge
Omega 3 may well contribute. LTO3 contains high quality omega 3.
You definitely see more often with ADHD that there is difficulty with authority. I actually like this trait.
It should not get out of hand but a bit of self-reflection is so important.
ADHD people are freethinkers, you can't tell them what to do. It can help if you explain why something has to be done, what the point of it is. Try to make it broader than just, you MUST do this now without questions.
Hello all,
While browsing the internet, I happened to stumble across this site. My son (11 years old) has also been diagnosed with ADD (in addition to earlier dyslexia). I am struggling a lot with my feelings (please let him use his talents and not follow that awful educational system) and the structure of our society and thus the educational system that you just have to go along with. We are even considering medication to help him through it. If there were a school where you are really allowed to be who you are, where you can develop yourself in a way that suits you, I would sign him up immediately. But since we still think hopelessly old-fashioned about education, I still feel the pressure to let him 'dance' along. How sad.
Tip: https://www.ted.com/talks/sir_ken_robinson_changing_education_paradigms
Hi Inge,
Funny you share that link, we also recently posted it on the website > https://www.addkenmerken.net/sir-ken-robinson-over-kinderen-op-school-en-add-adhd/
Have you thought about LTO3? Might be worth trying that first if you are looking up to medication. You can always do that.
At least support him in developing his qualities.
Greetings,
Jochem
Gee how recognisable it all is. It scares me. Reading the reactions makes me laugh sometimes. It could easily be my story. I was diagnosed about 10 years ago. I am 52 now. And 12 years ago, as a social cultural worker and keen sportsman, I switched to the police. Best choice ever, wasn't easy but if you turn on your hyper-focus everything works out. Jasper, you will get there.
Hello,
My son, 14 by now, has add. I knew he was different from 2.5 years old but it was only in 2018 that add was diagnosed. I feel like I am always alone in this. And by this I mean towards school. My son was and is often considered lazy. Teachers always say understand this but when it comes down to it, they make negative comments. They think he is lazy, he needs to work harder, his attitude is not good..... It's true he doesn't work so much for school but this is really not to be rebellious. When we broach this subject, he gets genuinely sad.
Now I had changed schools for him in January this school year. This because I thought that kind of education would suit him better, they would be more understanding of children with ad(h)d and other learning disabilities. Because like so many, he also has dyslexia and probably other ?so? Now he took physical lessons there for 10 weeks only to have to do home studio like everyone else by Covid19. The children, at least in this school, were swamped with tasks. We had lost track together. Because 10 weeks, is not much to adjust to new way of teaching, new online learning platform (which I was also not explained about). After a while, we had found our structure and his points on the tasks went up. He also submitted almost all the tasks. But the situation changed again and my son had to go to school for two half-days. Hopla structure gone again. Then followed the good news that he had 6 exams in 3 days. Of which he had to do maths twice because school gave wrong exam. My son's concentration won't last this long result b certificate and is only allowed to oversit or go to bso. We had already opted for tso so lower where he is now. We have nothing against bso but if your child is not open to this himself it becomes difficult. His marks are not achieving the desired result for French and Dutch. Maths is close but not enough for the teachers. In the other subjects, he gets good results by doing as much/little. I had objected and had to appear before a committee. 4 internal people and 4 external (which I have my doubts about). After telling my story, more than an hour was spent deliberating. Admittedly without me but with two people from the school in question. I find this unfair because they still had so much time to cite things that I was unable to defend. They keep saying they know what add is but I don't agree with that. My son has been watching English-language films without subtitles for years, speaks English with people online every day, knows more about history than I do...... but still they dare to write down the following ? the committee is of the opinion, from a prospective point of view, that the results (knowledge, skills, attitude, competences) do not provide a sufficient basis for success in the 3rd year of tso. This is hurtful, people who had my son in school for 10 weeks and 6 strangers have passed judgement on his attitude and skills. My son is now going to attend bso against his will with in mind to attend evening classes or something later.
I tell my story because I know so many children and not just those with add end up in this situation. If you don't follow the big crowd, you drop out. You have to be able to study, put down and then you are allowed to forget again. This is what the schools expect of our children. If you cannot do this despite your intelligence then you are a ?bso profile?
Schools urgently need people who will explain add / adhd / ass from their own experiences so that the children get the necessary support and understanding to follow their dreams !!!
Jasper 32 years.
Have been crying almost the entire time reading this article. This is exactly how I experienced my life. From rather fun primary school days to feeling completely useless at' especially secondary school. But this started back in high school.
I am now unemployed and have not completed an mbo.
Incidentally, I was diagnosed with an IQ of 120 at primary school. But according to the teacher there, I didn't fit in and was subsequently sent to a LOM school on advice. It was good that the teacher had noticed that I was different. But in my opinion, I did not come into my own at that LOM school. Certainly not at the vmbo, where I was immediately placed at basic level. After all, I came from special education.
it hurts me very much to this day that I did not develop into what I could have been and find it very difficult to assess whether that is because of my own laziness, my gaming or cannabis addiction. Or to the way I have been steered through life. In any case, my feelings connect very strongly with this article. My wish is that there will be room for all add/adhd'ers to develop in the way that is right for them and I believe that they can be a great part of society, provided add/adhd is not labelled as a handicap.
Wonderful article, very inspiring.
Thank you.
Hi Jasper,
Nice of you to respond and thanks for your compliment on the article.
I totally understand your frustration, but it is never too late to change course. Immerse yourself in things you enjoy doing. You can also meditate briefly daily. That really helps you feel more in tune with your true self. Who you really are at your core. Try to take slow steps to start feeling better. For example, if you have a really bad sleep rhythm now, tackle that. If you eat a lot of junk food, choose more healthy food. Do you game or blow daily, reduce this slowly. If you exercise very little, go for a walk every day and build up slowly.
Immerse yourself in things you enjoy doing. Youtube is also full of motivational videos that you can really get inspiration from. This way, you will slowly get into a positive spiral and regain your zest for life.
You found my article very inspiring. Then also read these > https://www.addkenmerken.net/john-loporto-davinci-method/
An inspiring video and a very inspiring story about an eagle. The question is whether you will keep it dry this time ;)
I wish you all the best!
Greetings,
Jochem
Hey, I had just written a nice message back, forgot to fill in my name etc. Now it's gone, haha.
I'll have another go later, have to leave now.
Warm regards, Jasper.
P.s. in my eyes, you are a hero!
Hi Jasper
Great to read about someone with the same struggles. I myself have 'tried' 3 courses during the first one and ended up at a school psychologist, never had any practical help and was talked into all sorts of things. But apparently the school was not so keen on 'problem students'. Now no idea how to proceed.
Hello,
I am Janna, 15 years old and was diagnosed with ADD six months ago. I actually didn't really believe I had ADD, but that it was more for people who just look for an explanation in everything. I had this thought for a very long time. However, I took a closer look at what I was up against as an ADD sufferer. Well, that's quite a list! First of all, I'm failing this year and will be moved from vwo back to havo. This feels very much like failure to me. The problem is that I am just a really incredibly lazy person. This really frustrates me tremendously at times. Another problem is that I really do forget and lose everything. I also have the feeling that my friends are sometimes completely done with me, because I am so incredibly lazy and also selfish. Furthermore, I just distract myself tremendously from problems to come, which then come back twice later. So I do feel different from other peers lately. I just can't put my finger on in what respect that is. One explanation could be that my head is not really with everyday life.
Jochem and parents of,
Very recognisable all but do question your solution. Blind faith in intuition and omniscience on the basis of higher consciousness carries a certain risk. The fact that the brains of 'new age children' do not need to be programmed at school can be interpreted by them as meaning that they do not need to learn anything. After all, wisdom comes naturally. This is a trap which can lead to delusion and a total detachment and rejection of reality. Even if you have the ability to see things that others need to learn you can be completely wrong! There is then nothing and no one to catch you in your fall. You lack the pre-programmed knowledge of the mainstream and your own knowledge consists of quicksand. The difference is in the way you learn.
Hello all,
I found out today that I have had ADD all my late life (27) and honestly, I'm totally happy with it!
Finally, all the puzzle pieces are falling into place.
How to deal with this better now? no idea....
Does anyone have any tips? If so, send me an email :) thanks!
Greetings Regina
Hello.
I read a bit on this website. Especially the bit about school. I have a nine-year-old son with adhd and he is now in special primary education. It is his third school already and as things stand, school number four is already around the corner. He is now in group five and has already been allowed to repeat group three once. I am looking for `something` that is there for us, because care institutions etc. cannot help us with these kinds of things like telling the school (in our interest) how things should be done or that the school has shortcomings. And which school is the right school, or will his fourth school be the end station and he'll just have to muddle through to eighth grade? If so, I can predict my son's future. Does anyone have any tips , anything we can actually use? Should we sue the school for `trying` to teach my son or should I say a chance? How should I assess the chances of my son's future working out???? Dear people it is crazy that this can happen in the netherlands our prosperous little country .
Kind regards
Sylvia van Leer
Hi Sylvia, what a difficult situation. You obviously want the best for your son. It seems important to me that your son is actively getting help/guidance. To my knowledge, this is also mandatory from the school. He may need a lot more time and understanding and he may not be getting that now. Whether the school is making mistakes in this I can't say so of course. The teachers certainly do their best, but sometimes it is very difficult when you have to teach a whole class and a child who is 'different'. If you can afford it, you might try the natural remedy lto3 trying which many children but also adults with ADHD respond well to. Both in school and in dealing with others, I hear mostly good results. Furthermore, you could discuss with the school where you can find appropriate education now. Perhaps more creatively oriented where the children do not have to sit still as much. All the best with it.
Greetings Jochem.
My friend also has a child just add and it is nier easy.
On this I will not let myself comment further.
What I do know is that the school does share responsibility and should help you.
They can also help you in many ways but usually don't want to put time and energy into it even though they are obliged to, many parents don't know that.
Sorry I can't give you more info on this right now but would definitely go and find out, from the ministry of education if necessary, take them to task.
Hey Sylvia!
My little brother also has ADHD. Too bad I only read your article now. 5 years later.
My little brother and I were in Waldorf school together.
This school looks at the individual and helped very much to let him develop and be who he was. The teacher often let him release his energy. He was allowed to go outside more often, draw under stories, run around, stand during lessons etc..
I can relate to this so well.
In primary school, I discovered my first great talent: reading. In grade 3, I was already at the highest reading pace (AVI 9/out) and by grade 6, I was already reading books of around 100 to 200 pages in a few weeks. Another talent I discovered is that I am very good at music. I always realise quickly if something is wrong in the music and can therefore (if I make a mistake) adjust myself to it within a split second.
However, I binged on arithmetic. I am slow and in time, I was one and a half arithmetic books behind the rest of the class (about a grade). Even personal tutoring barely helped. I just couldn't do it. Reading comprehension was always easy for me because I sense what something is. Technical reading I hated because I thought it was just nitpicking. For heaven's sake, don't be so difficult, just read!
In secondary school it only got worse. not good and slow maths and maths, along with physics. Dutch was hell because I felt everything was over-analysed. I loved Geography and History, the subjects I also loved so much in primary school, and, even better: was also super good at! Those were the excuses for the irritating subjects.
I felt most double with foreign languages (French, Latin, Greek, German and English). I couldn't mash up words for the first time, but give me a dictionary and I translated everything, with perfect sentence structure and grammar. in reading tests and book tests, too, I was one of the best, regularly scoring higher marks than the rest of the class, and on a few occasions I was even able to answer questions from exams to which none of the then exam students had a good answer. And when one of the teachers asked me why I got it right and the rest didn't, I simply said, "The rest can learn well but can't think. They cannot understand the context because it cannot be learned fixed." But the 'nitpicking' continued and I had to quit many subjects because those components weighed too heavily to pass with my strengths.
What I also identify with is the feeling that I can sense everything, my intuition. I have had plenty of times when I said that something would happen, or that something would not work. Others then often replied that I would not be right and continued with their wrong approach, but in the end, who was right? Me. I think in such cases I have a score of about 95%... but well, people don't listen to you. And then they are always surprised anyway that I predicted something right.
Now at university, it is mainly the way the tests are administered that gets in my way. A lot of essay questions in which people don't indicate which way they want to go. and then find it strange that I reason just a little differently... but then again, the answer is wrong. Fortunately, I can score decently on multiple choice tests, because you only need to know the common thread... or 'feel' it.
I hope that in a few years, there will be people who can break open the current system to give opportunities to 'dissenters' too. We are not crazy, the rest talk after others but do not think for themselves.
Hi Jeroen,
Nice of you to respond. I also identify so much with what you describe. Better you could not have described this sentence "The rest can learn well, but not think". :) That's exactly how I feel too. And what you describe later about always predicting everything right. That's totally me too. To the annoyance of others because you always know better, but yes, it is also just like that. It's a kind of higher consciousness that makes you just know how things work, you know how things are going to go. It's annoying how you keep running into these frustrations because at a certain point it just gets tiresome that you have to go through that whole mill again while you already know in advance that you are right. But people don't listen. Think of it as a particularly strong and beautiful force. What I sometimes experience as negative about it is that people don't listen to you but use you when they need you.
That other way of reasoning you describe. That is simply a strong side of us that is not recognised by the vast majority because they do not possess that gift. Unfortunately, we often lose out in the short term, but in the long term, there are geniuses within us who are capable of so much. That really comes to the fore Jeroen :) Be proud of it! We are the eagles of society, the wayseers. Just read this article and be sure to watch the video too https://www.addkenmerken.net/john-loporto-davinci-method/ Even better, read his book. You will really feel completely comfortable in that, as I did. All the best to you. Greetings Jochem.
Dear Jochem,
Question from a concerned mother. My son is 7 and they suspect ADD at school, I myself always thought of high sensitivity but definitely see clues. Don't want to subject him to stereotypical tests and stigmatise / burden him with all sorts of things at this stage. Especially since his self-image is already affected at this age. Anyway, so indeed he is not doing well at school, dreaming for the outside world, but busy in his head. Maw, he is falling behind. Are there any schools at all that cater specifically to children with these characteristics? Maybe a completely different kind of education? More visual education or something like that? In any case, he is not enjoying himself at school, but it is school duty.... I now see a niche for this group of children who don't benefit from just standard education, because everything is grafted to mainstream. Or is it there????
Hi Jochem, thanks for your response :-)
Perhaps I haven't looked around the website closely enough but how do you handle relaxation, expressing yourself/ventilating, focus?
Accepting yourself is great and e.g. already takes away stress and feeling your fire also gives focus/energy/concentration. But can you get that enough out of yourself now? How do you deal with finding peace (and I mean really stillness, total peace/relaxation), keeping order and overview without losing too much energy......nouja, in short everything you run into in your head. I'm curious because it was so hard for me to manage without Ritalin. I also ask because I wonder to what extent the search(or lack thereof) for one's "fire" affects one and how one has dealt with it. Although that is a personal process for everyone of course, you can inspire/sparring/triggering each other (e.g. I myself also enjoy noticing that I passionately disagree with something and then suddenly know very clearly what I do support. Still need that incentive;-))
And I was wondering if you will share your experiences with Paleo on this website(or anywhere else). All that in the Cruyfian category: You only see it when you realise it!
Thnx in advance!
Oh crap, sorry....You had hyperlinked yourself Paleo diet for me!
Only now am clicking :-D and going to check it out!
Nicely written! Recognisable too! I did find the metaphor of walking with a blind guide stick while you can see apt. :-)
Edoch, of course it is all not so black and white although it makes that most obvious. Every person is unique, only sometimes your strength is also your burden. That is not so much down to society alone. The only blame for society is that it exists as it does. And as you beautifully described, that system does need it.
Years back, I delved into Gardner's multiple intelligence theory (while working with highly sensitive and gifted children). And recently delved into Jung's theory of personality profiles. I would mix the two together with Maslow's pyramid in a barrel because I think it touches on all aspects of our autonomous selves. For those who are additionally "different" because they are, for example(!) new age child and/or have AD(H)D, these should also be shuffled along. That sounds like it would all become even more complex, but in line with your piece, it is only an enrichment. Even more in 't vat what can be extracted provided everything has space and is acknowledged. Working together as a dynamic whole.
After a life of struggle, ambiguity and self-judgement, I was recently diagnosed with ADD. And, despite my reservations about medication, I started on Ritalin. I was initially against it. Why do I have to deny myself WAY back, this is who I am and I am naturally always moving to reflect and be aware to be the best version of myself. But I find that all the barriers I had before in being "me", all the feelings/creativity/fire/wisdom that were bubbling around chaotically inside, are now given space to express themselves. Because I can focus better, I can even fuel that fire inside better, feeding myself through a good book or study, for instance. And I notice that the musical ideas that I always had as a child but lost, are now coming back again so that I can finally start making music really from feeling. There aren't 12 other channels on in my head now so I can't even hear t anymore.
Example: the person I had become (nature/nurture) held very much to an introverted analytical thinking/structure/standards (Jung profile) or inhibitions. While my actual nature (add side) is naturally uninhibited and lively. That combination made it very difficult for me not to constantly impose everything on myself and all confrontations with non-compliance were very difficult. While I also know people with ADD who are actually very extroverted and focus on creativity, express themselves more easily and have an extra fire or sunshine that keeps them going.
That's a logic I see in that, i.e.. For me, it helps to understand the why questions. And create balance. Yin and yang. Black and white. One flourishes and sometimes thrives best under the influence of the other. (See my example calmness to give space to creativity)
I have curly hair myself but that doesn't mean I understand all people with curls. I do understand what those others find curls annoying and fun about their hair but otherwise we are all different. Of course, that's how it works for everyone what makes us ourselves.
So, and now I'm going to put my blind guide stick in the trash first! ;-)
Greetings!
Thanks for your response Krullie :)
Interesting what you write.
Very recognisable also you say what. For example, "all the feelings/creativity/fire/wisdom bubbling around chaotically inside". I know it all too well. Like being gifted with everything going on in your head at once and having super many talents but not knowing how to execute it all ;)
But like you, I too am always trying to become the best version of myself and this continues to struggle and trial and error. I have since accepted that and let it hinder me as little as possible.
It is certainly not always easy and even I often enough think, if only it was just a day of relaxing and not always struggling but that is how it is.
Currently, I have been eating completely differently for 3 months. Namely according to the paleo diet. That does help.
Glad for you that you have now found your way and that you can function so much better with medication. That is certainly not true for everyone so glad to hear it.
Greetings Jochem
Ha Jochem,
I've been hanging around your website for a few days now. What a feast of recognition. Tomorrow I will be extensively tested for AD(H)D. The idea of being different from others (and being the only one not to have received this life's instruction manual), being laughed at, not being understood for my big ideas, setting up big projects and sometimes not finishing them (or only completing them in my head), constantly changing direction within my company and sometimes not daring to trust myself anymore, being often tongue-tied when my opinion is asked about something as obscure as politics, forgetting appointments or duplicates in my diary (long live the google diary I share with my partner), perfectionism, creativity, empathy, mood swings, tantrums, longing for peace, enormous passion and fire for subjects that interest me, and so on.
A thought just occurred to me: 'if I now learn how to handle and deploy my fire, I (and others) will no longer burn myself with it'. What a peace that will bring in myself.
Thanks for your inspiring site.
Ellen
Hi Ellen, thanks for your positive response.
It is also a long road of trial and error, but yes, that is also part of life again. Our lives are just different but certainly no less interesting!
Eventually you will get there, by whatever means.
Keep it up! :)
Greetings, Jochem
Thank you Jochem. Was a heady day yesterday. It turned out I have ADHD, both attention deficit and hyperactive type. Very sad at first, not because of the label, but because I have struggled for so long, especially with my temper, and now there appears to be something more going on. To calm down, now on medication. After the summer, I will look into the possibilities regarding food and supplement LTO3.
With nutrition and lto3, there is definitely a lot to gain too. All in good time and do what feels right.
Good luck with everything Ellen.
Greetings Jochem
NO COMMENTS!....Beautifully described. Also have a theta brain and ASDHD. Also HSP.Highly sensitive!....
Regards, Zennie-Roots......
So recognisable to me as an ADHD-er and HSP-er especially the period at school!
Now that I understand it, I try to deal with it well and actually only focus on the positive aspects of it, especially in my work with people and horses because that is where I experience passion and it is more positive than negative for me! Turning my hobby into my profession was my dream and I succeeded!
How good to hear Annemarie! :-) Am happy for you. That's exactly what it's all about. Finding your passion and being able to put your energy into it. Nice of you to respond! Greetings Jochem
a very recognisable story! I am now 28 and diagnosed with add this summer. Fortunately, despite the problems I encountered in my life, I found a profession where I could work more with my feelings and intuition. I became a teacher in pre-vocational secondary education, which is challenging and different every hour of the day. But when they asked me at the training for the theory behind my way of working, I couldn't give them an answer. Despite obstacles, I got where I wanted to get now on to the next goal! Good luck with it all and hopefully this experience will help someone with ADHD or add to believe in themselves and reach that goal!!!
I am now going to forward this to a friend for her little son, who is having an incredibly hard time zoms. I myself did not consciously suffer from my condition, I was only diagnosed after my 40s, but in hindsight it explains a lot. I would also say that ADHD is associated with high sensitivity, so you feel and see everything, you have to be able to deal with it. You can use this in a positive way to help others - if you realise that you are not strange but just think further and most people cannot follow you!
So recognisable. I'm 38 now and have lived my whole life like the article! How nice to read that someone understands what I feel! Top article for everyone though now with or so der ADHD/add. I have known about it for a year now and my life has turned 100% positive and I have finally been able to do something in my creative brain. Wonderful!
I forget to mention that I started a website a couple of years ago, where I feature exclusively positive stories from adhd-ers about adhd, a subject of my own or experience gained in/with doesn't matter.
The first, and main reason for the site was, to all post achievements and/or successes of people with adhd, along with an explanation or just story from the person concerned.
A site where only all the positive qualities of adhd-ers are listed.
Soon I had a number of people with their success story and how they managed and keep it going.
Within a month, I received consecutive requests, from the people who were on the site with their success stories, to please remove their names and details.
The reason was from almost everyone, that customers fell over it and were not happy with it after the site was known to them.
Bad business as customers walked away. Well!
Hi Ray, nice initiative!
What you say sounds familiar.
Employers just google your name these days lol. I've noticed that too. But of course, you can always make that person's name anonymous. Or use only the first name or call sign, for example. Or use a pseudonym if necessary. At least then the story will no longer be found in Google by that name.
Grtz Jochem
Great information, really fantastically well described and therefore all the greater is my surprise that there is no mention of any reaction!
are they there and I don't see them??????
I have adhd myself, clinically very high and tested at my request at 34 and immediately went on Ritalin!
Why ask for a test myself? Because I didn't know it existed and only found out about it after a substitute at my work, told me about it.
Her father and brother had adhd and she thought I was a typical adhd-er!
After being handed the characteristics, limitations, behaviour etc of someone with adhd by her, I looked up all sorts of things about it in a short period of time and following that, had myself tested for adhd by a number of experts.
It took at least 12 years or so after that before I could see myself as the adhd-er described in the above post!
My life from age 34 to the 12 years after that, the adhd-er as adhd was and still is thought of by society. I saw myself as a failed individual and certainly not as in the above post.
My life until I was 34, especially my childhood, was terrible. Like people, adults mostly like teachers, saw me as completely different! Accusing me of certain behaviour that didn't fit with my perception at all and therefore wasn't right, I wasn't like that. I did it all on purpose and wanted nothing, in short I was no good!
What is stated above is true and should be a given, also present in every teachers' office.
Hi Ray, I had never mentioned this article so clearly on the website. I just put it in the menu too so it will probably be read more often now! Maybe comments will be added haha ;)
Thanks for your nice feedback, by the way! Good to hear that you've come to view ADHD so positively now. Will make your life a lot easier and more enjoyable :)
Take care!
Jochem
So. Seems like you're talking about me. And, how well written.
Am this week. Found out in my 40s that I am not crazy. Didn't just leave 15 Jobs in 20 years. Started blowing from the age of 16. And continued to do so until this week, always feeling that which you've articulated above in razor-sharp detail. Because this week I only realised for the first time in 40 years that there is a name for insecurity in i.
In 1986, I was diagnosed with gilles de la tourette. Slight form, didn't scream and so on but had a lot of aanwendsels. And now I finally realise that these were just additions. Born out of sheer boredom. I saw someone in class doing this a lot. And thought that's something, let me try that too. Problems, different schools, boarding school. Had every party in the Netherlands and Belgium. Always the thought that you were different from the rest. But I guess that's down to the gilles de la tourette. I also noticed that I always reacted differently to drugs than the rest
reacted. Was always the first to go out more or less. And then wanted to go home again.
My sister-in-law is a remedial educationalist and and has been calling out for years: You just have adhd. Yes yes, right. No I have gilles de la tourette, you know that, don't you? Pfffft how blind I have been(stoned mostly).
With work, I didn't need/couldn't be stoned. So when I worked at a bakery for 2 years, I was so bored I left again. Until I just decided to find another profession. This after about 6 bakers in 15 years. And none of these wanted to get rid of me. Yes 1, but that was in my heyday of house parties. Which meant I didn't show up too often. This was at age 18.
So then I became a Team Leader in logistics and this was it, nice and dynamic, no day the same. But now I've also had 5 different bosses there in the last 10 years. And really good jobs. Up to warehouse manager. Only I saw so many dingwn that I could solve. But there it comes, you can't. At least not by chicken standards shall I say. I shouldn't have to follow all kinds of project groups. I'll sort all that out myself. Just let me employ a few of those adhd ers. And I'll sort it out.
Unfortunately, of course, that's not how it goes. Otherwise, I would still be working at my first boss. That's why I decided to take medication anyway. At least then I can stop blowing/smoking. Because my wife sends me to the coffee shop when I have stopped for 3 weeks. Because then she goes completely crazy with me. And I must say I've never felt so good. Some peace and quiet. Not wanting to think about everything at once.
But a friend of mine did refer me to this article and I am very grateful to him for this. He also has adhd. I am now thinking that maybe I am not going to need the medication for the rest of my life. But that maybe there are alternatives.
Thanks.
Gr.